还差个鼻子就好了 寒先生 Just your nose and then we're done, Mr. frost.
你这混蛋！ You butt-fucker!
我是婴儿 I'm a baby.
孩子们 该吃晚饭了 快进屋来 Boys! It's dinner time. Come inside please.
喂 妈 Hey, mom.
我是说过今晚待在家收拾行李的 但是... I know I said that i would stay home and pack tonight but...
我当然是戴着耳机和您通话 Yeah, of course I'm wearing headphones.
总之很意外吧！ Anyway, yeah, so surprise!
我没待在家里 额... I'm not home. Um...
莱纳家让我去当临时保姆 The lerners asked me to babysit.
什么？ What?
开小差去见里奇？ Sneak off and see Ricky?
你为什么会.... Why would you, why would...
糟糕 Shit!
抱歉 Sorry.
艾什莉 Ashley!
艾什莉 你没事吧？ Ashley, are you okay?
喂 妈 不不不 没事的 Hi, mom, no, no, no, everything's fine.
遇到点交通问题而已 It's just traffic.
妈 我得赶路了 先挂了 Mom, look, I gotta go.
我爱你 I love you.
对 对 过来 过来 Yeah, yeah, come here, come here.
拜托 来个能打的 给我点挑战 Come on, give me a challenge, give me a challenge.
噢 没错 你赢不了 因为我是最强的 Oh, that's right, you can't, 'cause I'm the best.
好的 现在开始 Okay, here we go.
妈的 我激战正酣呢！ Damn, I'm on a streak!
"想让她兴奋起来吗？带她看一部恐怖片" "Want to put her in the mood? Watch a horror movie.
"我们害怕的时候 脑袋里会分泌大量多巴胺" "When we're scared, our brains pump out dopamine
"和性兴奋的时候是一样的" "the same chemical we release when we're aroused."
所以害怕会让女的湿润？ So fear really makes girls wet?
- 我告诉过你的 - 嘭 - Told ya.- Bam!
网上说什么你都信 You believe everything you read online.
就像油漆罐那事儿一样 It's like with the paint cans.
噢 天啊 你真还想再聊油漆罐的事儿吗？ Oh, my god, are we seriously back to the paint can debate?
上星期已经得出结论了 I ended that last week.
我当时并没有信服 I was unconvinced.
不不不不不 我们查过了 No, no, no, no, no, we looked it up.
那个博士说过油漆罐能砸碎强盗的脸 That er doctor said that the paint can would've smashed the robber's face in.
你就承认自己错了吧 Just admit you're wrong.
这些东西唯一能看的就只有这些图片 Only reason to read this stuff is for the pictures.
这些是福利 我知道女人想要什么 It's a plus. I know what women want.
哥们 Dude.
什么？ What?
她岁数几乎是咱们的两倍 She's, like, twice our age.
我真的觉得你是在痴人说梦 I really don't think it's gonna happen.
差五岁而已 没什么大不了的 Five years. Big deal.
我父母就相差五岁 My parents are five years apart.
你不明白 卢克 艾什莉能打十星 You don't get it. Luke, Ashley's a ten.
妥妥的十星 A solid ten.
而你只能打个五.... And you're like a fi...
- 算了 - 她喜欢我 我知道 - Never mind.- She likes me, I know it.
今晚不成功 便成仁 It's tonight or never.
好吧 那就做吧 但我兄弟给了我些大麻 Okay, go ahead. But my brother gave me weed,
所以与其费尽心思去泡你的保姆 so instead of trying to bone your babysitter
还不如咱们就... maybe we could just, you know...
吸大麻爽爽？ Puff-puff?
不 哥们 我要执行我的计划 No, man, I'm going through with the plan.
别给我搞砸了 Don't mess it up for me.
卢克 我意思是 出于咱俩的情谊 I mean, Luke, for both our sakes,
我真心希望你能得到那妞... I truly, sincerely hope you get some ass...
...的帮助 ...sistance...
帮助你解决电脑故障 Uh, with that computer problem you got.
就是给你些技术支持 都叫他们极客 Like, technical assistance. Call, uh, geek squad.
电脑一点故障没有 爱因斯坦 They're good. Real smooth, Einstein.
您芳香四溢 莱纳夫人 You smell great, Mrs. lerner.
你晚上难道没有宵禁时间吗 加瑞特？ Don't you have a curfew, Garrett?
有的 但我妈说我可以待到... Yeah, but my mom said i could stay in...
十一点就得上床睡觉懂吗？ Bed by 11:00, okay?
我知道了 I know.
别忘了刷牙 And don't forget to brush your teeth.
我会的 妈 I will, mom.
- 给你留了买披萨的钱 - 知道了 - I left pizza money.- Okay!
罗伯特 Robert.
罗伯特 把音乐关了 Robert, turn that shit off.
听得老娘头疼 It's giving me a migraine.
好的 亲爱的 Yes, uh, darling.
我放在圣诞树上的装饰物几乎都掉光了 My ornaments were conspicuously missing from the tree.
不要把这些东西放圣诞树上 We're not putting those on the tree.
至少得挂上叮当鞋 不然我就砍了你的小腿 Bell shoes, or I'll chop your legs off below the knees.
看你这娘炮的样子 确定自己从没搞过基？ Are you sure you've never sucked another man's cock?
上大学的时候？ Not even in college?
或者在某个放荡的周末？ Not some lost weekend?
或者出游钓鱼的时候？ Fishing trip?
或者藏着一个秘密的基友？ Secret, special friend?
都没有过吗？ Ever?
我想不起来了 Not that I can recall.
因为 说真的 罗伯特 这东西太... Because, honestly, Robert, this is so...
Meterosexual?
哪有这词儿 That's not even the word.
应该是Metrosexual（风骚花美男） It's Metro. Metrosexual.
有点基佬的嗜好又不犯法 I'm allowed to like gay things.
我要去喝杯酒冷静一下 I need a drink.
噢 天啊 婴儿伴侣！ Oh, my god, the fetus machine!
我都忘了你还有这玩意儿 I forgot you still had this.
我靠 哥们 这感觉太怪了 What the fuck? Dude! That is so creepy.
抱歉 别告诉我你现在还跟这东西一起睡 I'm sorry. Please tell me you don't still sleep with this.
- 真是这样 - 闭嘴 混蛋 - You totally do.- Shut up, dick.
- 居然是真的 - 当然不是 - You so do.- Of course not.
嘿 也许你做那事的时候 这东西能够助助兴 Hey, maybe it'll put you in the mood while you're, you know...
她来了 She's here.
上帝啊 你美的令人窒息 Good lord, you are breathtaking.
谢谢你 Thank you.
毛衣不错 Nice sweater.
- 谢谢 你的领带也不错 - 谢谢 - Thanks, nice tie.- Thank you.
听说你要离开这地方了 So, uh, you're leaving us.
迪安德拉说你要搬走了 Deandra says that you're moving.
是的 几天后搬到匹兹堡市去 Yeah, in a couple of days, to pittsburg.
得到过我的允许吗？ Did I give you permission?
谢谢你还能抽空过来 So thank you for coming
因为你肯定有很多东西要整理打包 because you've gotta be busy packing.
是的 但不管怎样我也得过来说声再见 Yeah, but I mean, i couldn't leave without saying goodbye.
喔 你真会说话 Wow! What a nice thing to say.
莱纳夫人 您真美 Mrs. lerner, you look incredible.
谢谢 但告诉过你 叫我迪安德拉 Well, thank you. But I told you, call me Deandra.
"莱纳夫人"听起来显老 "Mrs. lerner" makes me sound fossilized.
罗伯特 Robert!
看看谁终于舍得从房间里出来了 Oh, look who decided to come out of his room.
咱们是不是得把垃圾拿出去扔掉？ Don't I remember something about the trash getting taken out?
别忘了带上铲子 And don't forget the shovel.
快啊 卢克 然后我们就可以一起玩了 Go on, Luke, and then we can hang out.
没错 快 你去拿垃圾 我去拿桶 Yeah, come on, you grab the garbage and I'll get the recycling.
不知道你怎么想 虎仔 但我会想念那女孩的 I don't know about you, tiger, but I'm gonna miss that girl.
新地毯！ New carpets!
妈的 罗伯特 Damn it, rob.
听着 Here we go.
- 我给你看看这东西 - 嗯 - Okay, I want to show you this.- Mmm-hmm.
这次咱们得采取点不一样的办法 We're going to do things a little bit differently.
卢卡斯（即卢克）又开始会梦游了 Lucas has been sleepwalking again.
噢 Oh.
不 该死的 No, crap!
等我一会儿 Oh, just a minute.
加瑞特 你在这里面做什么？ Garrett, what are you doing in here?
噢 Oh.
额...你有止痒膏吗？ Uh, do you have any itch cream?
- 我的肩膀很... - 在最上面一层 - My shoulder really... - Top shelf.
说真的 这孩子有点熊 Honestly, that kid is a bad influence.
你得留意着他 I want you to keep an eye on him.
卢克刷完牙上床睡觉时 Once he's brushed and he's in bed,
别忘了给他吃安眠药 明白吗？ don't forget to give him his sleeping pill, okay?
然后你把这只铅笔 Then you take this pencil
放在门把上 and you put it on his door handle.
像这样放着 看到了吗？ See? Like that.
这样的话 如果他在房间里 那最好 That way, if he stays in, great.
如果他有四处走动 我们就能知道 If he walks around, we know.
他自己不知道 所以他不会感到难受 And what he doesn't know can't hurt him.
亲爱的 咱们该走了 Honey, it's time to go!
好的 All right.
好了 艾什莉 需要什么就给我们打电话 好吗？ Okay, Ashley, call us if you need anything, all right?
再见 祝你好运 See ya. Good luck.
别熬夜看恐怖片懂吗？ Now, don't stay up and watch scary movies, okay?
不然又要做噩梦了 It'll give you nightmares again.
别那样 给小伙儿留点面子 Please don't do that. You're embarrassing the lad.
噢 罗伯特 你这领带 Oh, Robert, that tie.
我知道 没事的 I know, right!
不 这不行 No, wrong.
求你了 求你了 求你了？谢谢 Please, please, please? Thank you.
时刻... Always be...
都得准备着 Prepared.
- 求别像去年那样让我难为情 - 我保证不会的 - Please don't embarrass me like last year. - Oh, I promise.
总算走了 Finally.
你现在想做什么？ So, what do you wanna do?
- 看电影？- 我得打个电话先 - Movie? - Actually, i gotta make a call.
你先去玩电脑游戏或者做点别的事好吗？ So how about you hang out and play video games or something?
事情发生的太快了 This is just happening so fast, you know?
我今晚需要有自己的空间 I just need some space tonight.
清理一下思绪 和旧事物作个告别 这样说明白了吧 Like, clear my head, say goodbye to everything, if that makes any sense.
里奇 我当然想见你 Ricky, of course i wanted to see you.
我不知道 I don't know.
十一点半吧 11:30.
如果你不怕触犯一堆古怪法律的话 Well, if you want to break a few dozen perv laws,
那就尽管不听我的 过来吧 you could always ignore me and come over anyway.
里奇 别这样 我是在开玩笑 Ricky, no, that was a joke.
不 不要 No, don't.
卢克 卢克 Luke! Luke!
- 怎么了？- 有蜘蛛 杀了它 - What? - There's a spider. Kill it.
杀了它 压扁它 Just kill it. Squish it!
它并没有做错事 It didn't do anything wrong.
艾什莉 艾什莉 你没事吧？ Ashley! Ashley, are you okay?
你说什么？ What?
我能照顾好我自己 没事的 谢谢 I can handle myself just fine, thank you.
答案仍然是不行 The answer's still no.
去吧 你现在自由了 Go on. You're free now.
走吧 大家伙 There you go, big guy.
里奇 我知道 Ricky, I know.
没错 我是很快就要离开这地方 Yes, I know I leave soon.
你是我的男人 You know you're my guy.
咱们就不能明天再约会吗？ Can't we hang out tomorrow?
好吧 Okay.
好的 没问题 也许这孩子会早些睡 Okay. Okay, well, maybe if kiddo falls asleep early.
好 Okay.
好的 再见 All right, bye.
卢克？ Luke?
卢克 Luke!
卢克 你在哪儿？ Luke, where are you?
卢克 Luke!
卢卡斯 你在干什么？ Lucas, what are you doing?
噢 你也想喝吗？ Oh, you want?
不 你年纪太小不能喝酒 快给我 No, you are way too young to be drinking. Give me that.
- 噢 这个？- 是的 那个 - Oh, this? - Yes, that.
把它给我 Give it to me.
卢卡斯 停下 Lucas, stop!
你这是怎么了？ What has gotten into you?
有一次 我和加瑞特喝了一整瓶 One time me and Garrett drank a whole bottle.
过后他吐得很厉害 He puked so bad.
他酒量比我差多了 He can't hold his liquor like me.
喔 你好棒 行了吧？快给我 Wow, I'm super impressed, okay? Now, give it.
卢卡斯 我现在绝不是和你开玩笑 Lucas, I'm so serious right now.
别 Don't.
谢谢 Thank you.
噢 天啊 Oh, my god.
请再说一遍 Pardon me.
你忘关门了 笨蛋 You forgot to shut the door, doofus.
不敢相信我得把这酒给倒掉 I can't believe I'm doing this
喂 不 抱歉 我现在没法交谈 Hey, no, sorry, I can't... I can't talk right now.
他刚开了一瓶香槟酒 He just opened a bottle of champagne.
不 不是引诱 Uh-uh, no, that is not an invitation.
听着 我想今晚肯定是没法见面了 Look, um, listen, i don't think tonight's gonna to work out.
什么机会？ A chance to what?
把事情搞得更难堪的机会吗？ Make things harder than they already are?
什么？ What?
你知道吗？那样太卑鄙了 我挂了 Okay, you know what? That was a low blow, and I'm gonna hang up now.
被我逮住了吧 Busted.
我？那你呢 先生？ Me? What about you, mister?
你不说 我也不说 Well, I won't tell if you don't.
好吧 成交 Okay, deal.
喝酒不能加深我对你的印象 懂吗？ You know, drinking won't impress me, okay?
我认为你已经够酷了 I already think you're pretty cool.
咱们...咱们吃点东西吧？ Let's, uh... let's get some food into you, hey?
意大利香肠披萨还是夏威夷式的？ Pepperoni or Hawaiian?
不带蘑菇的都行 Anything but mushrooms
你为什么不开.. Why don't you start the...
慢些 冷静点 Whoa, calm down.
再喝一杯吧 Have another drink.
这里是莱纳家 Lerner residence.
喂？ Hello?
救命！快来人啦！ Help! Somebody help me!
快啊 快啊 Come on, come on!
- 是谁？- 没人应 - Who was it? - No one.
你为什么要和里奇约会？ Why are you dating Ricky?
他是个大蠢货 He's such a jerk.
抱歉 我没那个意思 I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.
那你是什么意思？ How did you mean it?
你先是和杰里米约会 然后是里奇 It's just like first Jeremy and now Ricky.
世上那么多男人供你选择 You could choose any guy in the world,
你却偏偏选了这些不能好好对你的 and you're choosing these guys who treat you like shit.
卢克 Luke...
首先 感谢你的关心 First off, you're sweet,
其次 里奇其实有非常好的一面 but second, there's actually a really wonderful side to Ricky.
我这次远走对我们双方都很艰难 所以请放尊重点 And my move's been really tough on us, so be nice.
另外 你喝醉了 小鬼 Plus, you're drunk, kiddo.
我没喝醉 我也不是小鬼 I am not drunk and I am not a kiddo.
- 你才十二岁 - 还差几周就十三了 - You're 12.- Thirteen in a few weeks.
我比实际年龄更成熟 I'm mature for my age.
我知道 I know.
如果咱俩差不多大 我会和你约会的 If I were your age, I'd date you.
真的吗？ Really?
糟了 我忘订披萨了 Shit! I forgot to order the pizza.
天啊 卢克 你没跟我说过你订了披萨 God, Luke, you didn't tell me you ordered something.
我没订 I didn't.
嗨 抱歉 我们没有订餐 Hi. Sorry, we didn't order that.
这里是克莱蒙特312号么？ This 312 claremont?
是的 Yeah.
有人订了这披萨 Well, someone ordered this.
可能是我爹 It was probably my dad.
给 别找了 Here, keep the change.
嘿 祝你夜晚愉快 Hey, you, uh... You have a pleasant night.
好的 谢谢 Okay, thanks.
去拿盘子和纸巾 先生.. Plates and napkins, mister...
姐太讨厌这东西了 I fuckin' hate this thing.
救命！救命！ Help! Help!
你经常来这儿吗？ You come here a lot?
不时来一趟 Every now and then.
一个人来这儿思考人生 Come here to think, be by myself.
怎么了？ What?
营造点气氛嘛 It's good ambience.
你今晚和平常不太一样啊 You are something else tonight.
等等 如果是你爹订的披萨 Wait, if your dad ordered the pizza,
为什么里面会有蘑菇？ why is there mushrooms on it?
不知道 可能是它们长得像蔬菜？ I don't know, 'cause they're like vegetables?
嘿 能拿些啤酒过来吗？ Hey, you mind grabbing those beers?
当然 等等 Sure, hold on.
哈喽？ Hello?
辛蒂 别干蠢事 Cindy, don't be stupid.
如果我不马上回家 我男朋友会杀了我的 My boyfriend's going to kill me if I don't get home soon.
可你男朋友不在这儿 Your boyfriend isn't here.
你个坏蛋 You're bad.
你爹妈假期有什么安排吗？ So what are your family's plans for the holidays?
喝酒 吵架 Drinking and arguing.
你挺逗嘛 You crack me up.
里奇 你就不能让我安静一会儿吗？ Ricky, why can't you just leave me alone?
我很快就回来 明白吗？ Look, I'll be back in one second, okay?
喂？ Hello?
噢 你把我逗笑了 Oh, you crack me up.
好吧 看情况吧 Okay, we'll see.
是的 我不知道 我说过"看情况吧" Yeah, I don't know. I said, "we'll see!"
嘿 我仍然在生你的气 Hey, I'm still pissed at you, you know.
你别想那么容易得到原谅 You don't get off that easy.
也许迟些时候我会打电话给你 I'll talk to you later, maybe.
好的 再见 Okay, bye-bye.
嘿 你永远都会是我的小兄弟 Hey, you'll always be my little buddy.
你知道的对吗？ You know that, right?
咱们静静地看电影好吗？ Can we just watch the movie?
嘿 你上哪去了？ Hey, where'd you go?
波比 你在上面吗？ Bobby, are you up there?
噢 天啊 不 我不敢看这部分 Oh, my god! No, I can't! I can't watch this part.
为什么... Why would...
为什么他们要到阁楼上去？ Why would they go into the attic?
这太蠢了 It's just... Oh, it's so stupid.
噢 天啊 Oh, god!
你听到了吗？ Did you hear that?
嗯 Mmm-mmm.
卢克 卢克 卢克 不！ Luke, Luke, Luke, no!
不 不 不 卢克 No, no, no, Luke.
为什么？ Why?
不行 因为 卢克 No, just because, Luke.
听着 我知道你喝酒了... Look, I know you've been drinking...
你也喝了 你为什么不亲我了？ So have you, so why won't you kiss me?
因为 卢克 这是世上最不得当的事儿 Because, Luke, it is the most inappropriate thing ever!
明白吗？ Okay?
莱纳家 Lerner residence.
你想说话吗？ Are you gonna talk?
我能看见你 I can see you.
是杰里米吗？ Is this Jeremy?
乔伊 是你吗？ Joey, is that you?
能看到我的话 说我现在竖起来几根手指？ If you can see me, how many fingers am I holding up?
我看到些东西 I see something.
不 咱们离开这儿 外面有人 No, let's get out of here. There's somebody out there.
你是怎么了？外面有人 What's gotten into you? There's somebody over there!
卢克 你能把电影关了吗？ Luke, could you just turn that off?
- 为什么？- 关了就行 拜托了？ - Why? - Can you just, please?
快 咱们走 外面有人... Come on, let's go. There's somebody out there...
把那个给我 Can you... Give me that.
卢克？ Luke?
是杰里米吗？ Was it Jeremy?
我想不是 I don't think so.
那是谁？ Then who was it?
大家都知道他对你一片痴情 Everyone knows he's totally obsessed with you.
妈的 What the fuck!
水管在哪儿？ Where's the hose?
不管谁在外面捣鬼 我都要喷得他找不到北 I'm spraying whoever's out there.
卢克 把我的手机拿过来 Luke, get my phone!
- 噢 该死的 卢克 - 噢 糟糕 抱歉 - Oh, god damn it, Luke! - Oh, shit! Sorry!
- 天啊 你知道我花了多少钱买的？- 我不是故意的 - God, do you know how much that cost me? - I didn't mean to.
800多美元 你扔东西的时候不先看准吗？ 8 plus. Do you not look when you're throwing?
艾什莉 我妈会赔你一个的 Ashley, my mom'll buy you another one.
噢 卢克 Oh, Luke!
什么 我..我不害怕 What, I'm, I'm not scared.
但咱们不知道外面是谁 Yeah, well, we don't know who it is.
那就看看 Then look.
外面没人 No one's there.
搞什么鬼？ What the hell?
卢克 不 不要 你在干什么... Luke, no! Don't. What are you...
- 卢克 - 谁在外面 别乱来 - Luke! - Whoever's out there, cut it out.
我会跆拳道 I know tae Kwon do.
看到了吗？吓到他们了... See? Scared 'em...
嗨 你还好吗？ Hi. How are you?
快走开 Get off me!
哥们 Dude!
看看你们的脸 Your guys faces!
你们的脸像是... Your faces. You were like...
- 你个傻缺 - 你在搞什么 哥们？ - You asshole! - What the hell, man?
别这样 我只是来看看你们 Come on, I'm just checking up on you kids.
我差点就报警了 I nearly called the fucking police!
你在后面鬼鬼祟祟干什么？ What were you doing sneaking around back there?
- 哪后面？- 就是后院 Back where? In the backyard.
我没到后院去 I didn't go in the backyard.
待这儿别动 Stay here.
刚是什么？ What was that?
我 我不... I, I don't...
嘿嘿嘿 你要干什么？ Hey, hey, hey, what's that for?
卢克 你手机呢？ Luke, where's your phone?
我爸妈拿走了 My parents took it.
我有手机 I have one.
好 输入911 我马上到楼上去 Okay, dial 911. I'm going up there.
如果听到我尖叫 马上拨号 然后藏起来 明白吗？ If I scream, press send and hide, got it?
明白 Okay.
哥们 如果这是个恶作剧 Dude, if this is a prank,
我就踢你蛋蛋 I'm kicking you in the balls.
天啊 你们干什么？到下面待着 Jesus! What are you doing? Stay down there.
我们听到了声音 别丢下我们不管 We heard something. Please don't leave us alone.
那好吧 紧跟在我后面 Okay, but just stay right behind me.
那声音是从哪儿传过来的？ Where did the noise come from?
噢 天啊 Oh, my god.
有人想在牢里过圣诞节 Someone's about to spend Christmas in fucking jail.
什么？ What?
我手机在这儿一直都能收到信号的 My phone always works here.
怎么？ What?
怎么回事？ What the fuck?
电脑呢？ Where's the computer?
同志们 Guys!
在我房间里 It's in my room.
我们要报警 We need the police.
如果是杰里米 我马上和他绝交 If this is Jeremy, I'm not even fucking around.
不好 Shit.
搞什么？芬和杰克怎么没了？ What the hell? Where's finnandjake?
你说的是什么？ What's that?
家里网络名称 没了 The network. It's gone.
他们怎么做到的？ How are they doing this?
这样 卢克 你跟我走 加瑞特你待在这儿 Okay, Luke, come with me. Garrett, stay here
看看能不能再连上一个... and just get on another one of those like...
什么？无线网吗？都需要密码的 What, Wi-Fi? They're all locked.
不 天啊 加瑞特 No, god, Garrett!
发挥你的技术魔力 Just use your fuckin' techno magic.
嘿 嘿 Hey. Hey!
你那是什么意思... What the fuck's that supposed to...
我的天啦 Jesus Christ!
咱们只要找到安防系统的控制面板 Okay, we just need to find the security panel,
然后警察很快就会赶到了 and the cops'll be here in minutes.
你们怎么会没有安防系统呢？ How the hell don't you have a security system?
我们不需要 We never needed one.
这附近很安全 It's a really safe neighborhood.
好吧 那就开我的车逃走 Okay, we'll just take my car.
我们会拿到车 然后... We'll grab it and we'll, um...
怎么了？ What is it?
退后 躲门后面去 Stay back. Get against the door.
加瑞特 Garrett!
加瑞特 你在干什么？蹲下 Garrett, what are you doing? Get down!
加瑞特 离那窗户远点 Garrett, get away from the window!
- 它在另一头 - 什么？ - It was on the other side.- What was?
（谁离开杀谁）
你手上拿的是什么？ What the fuck is that?
听到了吗？ Did you hear that?
上楼去 Get upstairs.
大家都上楼去 快点 Everybody get upstairs. Move!
- 妈的 - 我要离开这儿 - Shit! - I'm getting out of here.
加瑞特 回来 Garrett, come back!
加瑞特 Garrett!
加瑞特怎么了？ What happened to Garrett?
他受伤了吗？ Is he hurt?
听着 Listen, okay?
我们到楼上去懂吗？ We're gonna go upstairs, okay?
到卧室去 锁上门藏起来 In the bedroom and lock the door and hide.
然后呢？ And then what?
然后？ And then what?
然后我们到窗户边大喊 明白吗？ We're going to scream out of the window, okay?
尽全力喊 直到邻居听见为止 We're going to scream as hard as we can until the neighbors can hear,
然后他们就会报警的 and then they'll call the cops.
如果歹徒开枪杀了我们呢？ What if they shoot us?
喊声不会引狼入室吗？ What if it makes them come inside?
看着我 Look at me.
我需要你帮忙 你得冷静下来 I need your help, and I need you to stay calm.
我们会成功渡过这一劫的 明白吗？ We're gonna get through this, okay?
明白 Okay.
- 你父母有枪吗？- 有 - Do your parents have a gun? - Yeah.
放哪儿呢？ Where do they keep it?
他们床上我爸睡的那一侧 By my parents' bed, dad's side.
好 咱们去找到那把枪 Okay, we get the gun.
如果有人闯进来 咱们就... And if anyone tries to come inside, we'll...
开枪 You know, we'll shoot 'em.
好 Okay.
靠着墙 待在阴影处 懂吗？ Hug the wall and stay in the shadows, okay?
那有个人 There's someone there.
他们在干什么？ What are they doing?
他们想找什么？ What do they want?
咱们咋办？ What do we do?
快上去 快 快... Go, go, go, go, go, go.
他马上到这儿了 He's coming!
好 Okay.
好了 卢克 咱们就待在这儿 直到他们离开 Okay, Luke, we're just going to stay here until they leave.
他们杀了加瑞特 They killed Garrett.
如果他们也把我父母杀了呢？ What if they kill my parents, too?
不会的 No.
卢卡斯 不会发生这种事的 好吗？ Lucas, that is not going to happen, okay?
我们应该先去把枪拿到手 I think we should get the gun.
不行 卢克 下面那些人拿着长枪 知道吗？ No, Luke, the guys down there have a shotgun, okay?
不行 咱们就待在这里 No, we're staying here.
你在干什么？别下去 What are you doing? Stay here!
天啊 卢克 Jesus, Luke.
卢卡斯 我不是开玩笑 Lucas! Seriously!
卢克 他们能听到咱们 你在哪儿？ Luke, they can hear us. Where are you?
妈的 有东西爬我身上了 Shit, something's on me.
- 卢克 - 怎么了？ - Luke! - What?
- 噢 该死的 有东西爬我身上了 - 是什么？ - Oh, shit, something's on me! - What is it?
有东西爬我身上了 啊 不好 Something's on me! Ah, shit!
不 不 它爬我脸上了 不 No, no, on my face! No!
把它拿掉 Get it off!
- 艾什莉 看着我 - 拿掉 - Ash, look at me! - Get it off!
- 把它拿掉 拿掉 - 看着我 Get it off! Get it off! Look at me!
我抓住你了 I got you.
你不会有事的 You're going to be okay.
我不能这样 I can't do this.
只要去拿到我爸的枪 I've just gotta get my dad's gun.
咱们就安全了 Then we'll be okay.
没事的 It's okay.
哭很正常 It's okay to cry.
我也害怕 I'm scared, too.
但我必须去拿枪 But I have to get the gun.
等等 别去 等等 Wait, no. Wait.
快 我想他到楼下去了 Quick! I think he's downstairs.
有子弹吗？ Is that loaded?
有 我检查过 Yeah, I checked.
不 No!
好 走 走 走 Okay, go, go, go.
你待在这里 You stay here.
我到外面去把他们吓跑 I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna scare them away.
不 不 卢克 别出去 No, no, Luke, stay here.
别担心 我会保护你的 Don't worry, I'll protect you.
卢克 现在出去不是勇敢 是愚蠢 懂吗？ Luke, going out there's not brave, okay? It's stupid.
- 卢克 - 相信我 - Luke! - Trust me.
- 卢克 回来 - 放开我 - Luke, come back! - Let go of me.
噢 天啊 糟糕 Oh, my god! Shit!
- 你能关掉它吗？- 关不掉 - Can you turn it off? - It won't.
关掉 Turn it off!
出去 Go away.
卢克 真对不起 Luke, I'm so sorry.
求你快出去 Please go away.
那是你的面具 That's your mask.
噢 天啊 Oh, my god.
- 噢 我的天 - 艾什莉 别！ - Oh, my god!- Ash, no!
加瑞特 Garrett!
啊 哥们？ Ah, dude?
把面具摘下来 Take that mask off!
什么？这是在恶作剧吗？ What? Is this a fuckin' joke?
我... I...
我们想吓吓你 We were gonna scare you.
干的好 你们快吓死我了 Yeah, well you did. You scared the shit out of me.
为什么？为什么？为什么你要这么做？ Why? Why? Why would you do that?
我本计划好救你的部分 但这傻子... I was gonna go save you, but dipshit here...
卢克 你朋友拿着一把真枪 Luke, your friend is holding a real gun!
这很严重 你怎么会干这种事？ This is serious. How could you do that?
因为你一直把我当小孩对待 Because you treat me like a child.
所以你就想通过从假的持枪强盗手里把我救出 And what, you were going to show me how much of a man you were
来展示你多有男人气概 by rescuing me from fake armed robbers?
你的确是个小孩 You are a child!
我差点摔断脖子 I almost broke my neck.
多幼稚的妄想狂才会觉得表演一次入室抢劫 What delusional infant thinks that staging a break-in
会让自己成功得到女人的芳心？ is gonna get you to second base?
你脑子有病 You're mental!
你是个无脑自私的小屁孩 你得吃药 You're a selfish brat with no consideration, and you need therapy.
吃很多药 Lots of it.
我要把你父亲的行头放回原处... I'm gonna go and put your dad's hunting stuff back there...
不 加瑞特 你待着别动 No, Garrett, you stay right fucking there.
卢克 你现在麻烦大了 Luke, you are in so much trouble.
我要去给你父母打电话 I'm calling your parents.
艾什莉 Ashley.
艾什莉 Ashley!
- 艾什莉 - 什么？ - Ashley! - What?
哥们 你刚干什么了？ Dude, what'd you just do?
你他妈这是在干什么啊？ What the fuck did you just do?
噢 天啊 噢 天啊 我滑的如此之快 Oh, my god. Oh, my god, I'm moving so fast!
用动画《探险活宝》里的小妞来玩"或杀、或操、或结婚"游戏 Okay, uh, kill-fuck Mary with the adventure time chicks.
你先来 Go.
操泡泡糖公主 Fuck Princess bubblegum.
什么？ What?
不选玛瑟琳女王吗？ Not marceline?
当然不是 Hell no.
第一 她是泡泡糖做的 One, she's made of bubble gum
所以她能伸展开 第二 so she can, like, stretch, which leads to two,
她的下体尝起来像泡泡糖 her pussy tastes like bubble gum.
呜 哥们 那意味着她又粘又湿 Ooh, dude, that means she's all, like, sticky and moist and shit.
哥们 你很在行啊 Dude, those are pros.
你从哪儿学到这些的？你妈那儿吗？ Where'd you learn that, your mom?
不对 是你姐那儿 No, your sister.
进一步讲 糖果王国里每个人都疯狂地贪食鲜肉 Further, everyone from the candy kingdom is ravenous for flesh
所以她的口活绝对一流 so you know she gives legendary head.
是啊 只要你不介意事后阴毛上粘满泡泡糖就行 Yeah, as long as you don't mind cutting gum out of your pubes.
你得考虑这问题 Not that you have to worry about that.
噢 天啊 哥们 Oh, my god, dude.
你要试试这枕头 You gotta have one of these.
感觉像... It's like...
像是棉花糖 It's like marshmallows.
到处都是 Everywhere.
也许我该给你来半瓶 Maybe I should have given you a half dose.
你怎么称它的？ What'd you call it again?
奥施康定（麻醉止痛药简写） Oxy.
奥施康定 Oxy.
太棒了 It's awesome.
棒 棒 棒 棒 Awesome, awesome awesome, awesome.
棒 Awesome.
有这单词吗？ Is that a word?
噢 我得再做一次 Oh, I gotta do that again.
我要去探索一番 I'm gonna go and explore.
小心地毯 Watch the carpet!
该死的 我妈会杀了我的 Damn it, my mom will kill me!
抱歉 Sorry.
快出来 Just get out of there.
快 Come on.
你确定知道自己在做什么吗？ Sure you know what you're doing?
一直都很清楚 Always.
有些东西丢了 Something's missing.
这到底是怎么回事？ What the fuck is going on?
天啊 Jesus!
你有多少种不同的护肤液？ How many different lotions do you have?
好了 There.
好多了 All better.
哥们 画的太差劲了 Dude, that's fucked up.
拜托 这样很滑稽 Come on, it's hilarious.
你怎么想的 艾什莉？ What do you think, Ashley?
噢 谢谢你 卢克 Oh, thank you, Luke.
我简直没法比这样更美了 I've literally never looked better!
你可能正在想发生了什么事 You're probably wondering what's going on.
那咱们就开诚布公吧 It's out in the open now.
你知道我喜欢你 You know how I feel about you.
我真的真的不想对你开枪 艾什莉 Look, I really, really don't want to shoot you, Ashley,
但这不代表我就不会开枪 but I will.
我可以把胶布撕掉 但你别喊 懂吗？ So if I take the gag off, you won't scream, right?
否则我就别无选择 'Cause then I have no other choice
只有杀了你 但我说过 but to shoot you, and like I said...
我真的真的不想那么做 I really, really don't want to.
你明白了吗？ You get me?
卢克 听我说好吗？ Luke, listen to me, okay?
啊啊啊 我没让你说话 Uh-uh-uh. I didn't say talk.
我让你说你才能说 You talk when I tell you.
好 Okay.
说 Talk.
卢克 听我说 我可能脑震荡了 Luke, listen to me, okay? I think I have a concussion.
我要去医院 I need to go to the hospital.
把枪放下 给我松绑 Put the gun down and untie me.
立即停止这一切 This needs to stop immediately.
不 No.
天网恢恢疏而不漏 你逃不掉的 Whatever you think that you're gonna get away with, you're not.
艾什莉 你曾经告诉过我 Ashley, you used to tell me
我能在杀人后逍遥法外 I could get away with murder.
- 卢克 - 我是开玩笑的 - Luke! - I'm just kidding.
天啊 艾什莉 放松点 God, Ashley. Lighten the fuck up.
咱们来玩真心话大冒险 I'll tell you what. Let's play truth or dare.
你他妈能不能马上解开我先？ How about you untie me right fucking now?
别说粗话 艾什莉 Language, Ashley.
你赢了 我就解开你 If you win, i will untie you,
但如果你输了 but if you lose,
如果你输了... well, if you lose...
那你就得喝这个 Then you drink this.
那是什么？ What is that?
可以当作我的保险单吧 We'll call it my insurance policy.
现在真是想玩什么都能找到 Isn't it amazing what you can get on the playground these days.
卢克 从你八岁开始我就认识你了 Luke, I have known you since you were eight.
而今晚你却拿着把枪来威胁我 You're threatening me with a gun tonight.
- 这可不对 - 管它呢 - This is not okay. - Whatever.
西非的政治腐败也是不对的 Neither is, like, political corruption in west Africa.
插一句 我需要帮忙写作业 By the way, I need help with that paper.
星期一得交 It's due Monday.
好 艾什莉 我先来 Okay, Ashley, l'll go first.
- 真心话还是大冒险？- 我赌你不敢成熟懂事 - Truth or dare? - I dare you to grow up.
真心话还是大冒险 艾什莉？ Truth or dare, Ashley?
不要逼我拿枪指着你 Don't make me point the gun at you.
这太蠢了 This is so stupid.
真心话 Truth.
我就知道你会选这个 I knew you'd say that.
好的 真心话 Okay, truth.
- 你睡过几个男人？- 什么？ - How many guys have you fucked? - What?
卢克 你在做什么？你不是这样的 Luke, what are you doing? This isn't you.
快回答我的问题 Just answer the question.
一个都没睡过 None.
胡说 你不是处女 Bullshit! You're not a virgin.
大家都知道你睡了杰里米 Everybody knows you screwed Jeremy.
不 正是因为他到处胡说这事 我才和他分的手 No, I broke up with him because he went around telling everybody that.
好了 我想现在轮到我了 Okay. Guess it's my turn then.
卢克 真心话还是大冒险？ Uh, Luke, truth or dare?
当然是大冒险 Well, it'll be dare of course.
好 Okay.
嗯 Um...
我赌你不敢去摸她的奶子 I dare you to touch her tit.
不 请不要那么做 No, please don't do that.
这是人所共知的规则 艾什莉 It's the universal rules, Ashley.
你有更偏爱哪一边吗？ Do you have a preference?
右边的还是左边？ Right or left?
好吧 我来选一个 Fine, I'll pick.
噢 感觉不错 Oh, that is nice.
我明白为什么这事儿会那么刺激了 I can see what all the fuss is about.
哥们 你是不是... Dude, are you...
闭嘴 嘿 嘿 Shut up! Hey, hey.
嘿 哥们 你推我干嘛？ Hey, dude, why are you shoving?
别推我 Don't push me, dude.
不然我对你不客气 I will kick your ass.
好 好 Okay. Okay
我感觉很不错 你呢？ It's pretty nice, huh? How'd that feel?
被小男孩猥亵的感觉 Like a little boy just felt me up.
艾什莉 Ashley...
你知道爱一个人却得不到回应的感觉吗？ Do you know what it's like to love someone who doesn't love you back?
- 我比你知道的多 - 不 你不知道 - More than you'd know.- No, you don't.
每个人都爱你 所有男的都想上你 Everyone loves you. All the guys wanna fuck you.
噢 卢克 你现在麻烦大了 Oh, Luke. You are in so much trouble,
等你父母回来的时候 你们两个都完蛋了 the both of you, when your parents come home.
他们永远都不会发现的 They're never going to find out.
轮到你了 Your turn.
卢克 真心话还是大冒险 Luke, truth or dare.
为什么没人问我？ Why isn't anybody asking me?
啊 真心话 Ah, truth.
你告诉过加瑞特是你杀了他的那只仓鼠吗？ Did you ever tell Garrett that you killed his hamster?
什么？ What?
当然不是 下一轮 The answer is no. Next turn.
你说勒布朗是从隔板上的一个洞逃出去的 You said lebron escaped out of the hole in my screen.
确实是 不过它是先死后出去的 He did. He was just dead first.
你在搞什么啊 哥们？ What the fuck, man?
那是个意外 再说 It was an accident and besides,
那是两年前的事了 it was, like, two years ago.
况且你现在养了只猫 它无论如何都死定了 You have a cat now so he would have died anyway.
加瑞特 真心话还是大冒险？ Garrett, truth or dare?
你为什么要骗我？ Why would you lie to me?
真心话还是大冒险？ Truth or dare?
大冒险 Dare.
大冒险 你最好赌我们亲热或是什么的 Dare, and you'd better dare us to make out or something.
- 绝不可能 - 为什么不呢？ - Not on your life. - Why not?
凭什么就你自己一个人爽呢？ Why do you get to have all the fun?
因为她是我的保姆 Because she's my babysitter.
你不能碰她 You don't touch her.
那我来这干嘛？ Then what am i even doing here, dude?
我们本来只是想吓吓他 但现在事情搞得一团糟 We were just gonna scare her and now this has turned into, like, shit.
如果咱被抓住了呢？ What if we get caught?
听着 哥们 我不喜欢这样 Look, I don't like this, man.
你说真的吗？ Really?
哥们 停下 你在干什么？ Dude, stop! What are you doing?
哥们 我不干了 我回家去 Dude, I'm done, man. I just wanna go home.
不不不 你现在不能走 先把这事搞定再说 No, no, no, you can't go now. We have to finish this.
这并不像你之前说的那么好玩 This isn't as much fun as you said it would be.
如果被人发现了怎么办？ What if someone finds out?
你知道监狱里是怎么对待白人小孩的 You know what they do to white kids in jail.
加瑞特 听我说 Garrett, listen to me.
你现在已经是共犯了 You're an accomplice now.
如果现在你不帮我 你就会被抓住 You'll get caught if you don't help me.
咱们继续按计划行事不动摇 We have to stick to the plan.
她会忘记这件事的 相信我 She won't remember any of this, trust me.
好 Fine.
咱们先了结这一切 Let's just... Let's get this over with.
不好 Shit!
噢 不好 Oh, shit!
噢 差点暴露 Aw, so close.
因为你使诈 所以接下来事情就会这样发展 So, because you cheated, here's what's gonna happen.
我父母回来时发现你已经昏迷了 When my parents get home, they'll find you passed out
发现在我睡着后 and realize that after I went to sleep,
你入侵了酒柜 you raided the liquor cabinet
在搬到匹兹堡前 狂欢烂饮了一把 and partied hard before your big move to pittsburg.
这是证据a 这是证据b Exhibit a and exhibit b.
早上醒来时 你就什么也不记得了 And in the morning, you won't remember any of this.
卢克说得对 Luke walked me through.
这是最好的办法 It's the best way.
卢克正把你和他自己带向监狱 加瑞特 Luke is taking you straight to jail with him, Garrett.
你正在铸成大错 You're making a big mistake.
快跑出去报警 Just run. Call the cops now.
你可以阻止这一切 You can stop this.
喝 Drink.
死开 Hard pass.
别这样 你喜欢喝酒的 Come on! You love drinking.
你一直都和里奇喝酒的 You drink with Ricky all the time.
你是怎么了？ What's the problem?
眼睛看过来 Eyes up here.
喝了之后 一切就都烟消云散 If you drink, all of this goes away.
我们没必要这样 We don't have to do this.
喝 Drink.
你个婊子 Oh, you bitch!
救命！ Help!
- 不不不不不 - 不不不不不 - No, no, no, no, no! - No, no, no, no, no!
闭嘴 嘘.... Stop. Shh, shh, shh!
冷静下来 待在这儿 把地板清理干净 Stay calm, and stay here and clean this up.
好的 Okay.
嘿 嘿 嘘 嘘 Hey, hey, shh, shh!
谁啊？ Who is it?
我来找艾什莉的 I'm here to see Ashley.
里奇？ Ricky?
是的 哥们 快开门 Yeah, man, open the door.
她不在这儿 She's not here.
听着 我知道她在这儿 Listen, I know she's in there.
半小时前她发短信让我过来 She texted me to come over, like, half an hour ago.
她不想见你 She doesn't want to see you.
我只是想和她聊聊 I just wanna talk to her.
走吧 Go away.
她不再爱你了 She doesn't love you anymore.
她跟我说了 She told me.
艾什莉 Ashley!
- 艾什莉 出来咱们谈谈 - 哥们 别喊 - Ashley, come out and talk to me! - Dude, shut up!
她不想见你 She doesn't want to see you.
那好 那好 All right. All right.
嘿 听着 哥们 Hey, listen, man.
你能帮我把这花拿给她？ Could you just give her these, please?
好 Fine.
从门缝里塞进来 Pass them through the door.
没问题 太好了 谢谢 All right, awesome. Thanks, man.
快滚开 Get the fuck out of here.
- 嘿 出去 - 艾什莉 - Hey, get out!- Ash!
买披萨了是吗？ You have pizza?
艾什莉 Ash!
哥们 音乐这么大声干啥？ Dude, why is that music so loud?
艾什莉 Ash!
你在躲着吗？ Are you hiding?
- 我来找你了 - 不 她现在心情不好 - 'Cause I'll find you! - No! She's upset.
哥们 我知道 Dude, I know that.
你以为我买这些花干什么用的？ What do you think these are for?
她明天才能见你 So she can't see you till tomorrow.
求你安静点 拜托 拜托 Be quiet please. Please, please!
为什么现在不能呢？ Dude, why not?
嘿 我逮到...逮到一只老鼠 Hey, I got... I got the rat.
大老鼠 跑得贼快 但我逮到它了 The big rat. The fucker was fast, but I got him...
她在哪儿？ Where is she?
艾什莉在哪儿？ Where's ash?
在楼上 你明天再来更好 Upstairs, but it's probably better if you come back tomorrow.
不 并不光是因为你 No! It's not just you.
她现在腹痛 She has cramps.
- 什么？- 就是痛经 - What? - Menstrual cramps.
- 很严重 - 是的 而且还拉肚子 - It's real bad.- Yeah, she has diarrhea, too.
噢 Oh.
艾什莉 我上来了 Ash! I'm gonna come up!
我才不管你怎么了 I don't care what you have
拉你妹的肚子？ Fucking diarrhea?
- 抱歉 哥们 现在怎么办？- 我不知道 - Sorry, dude. What do we do? - I don't know.
看着她别离开 Just stay with her.
你在干什么？ What the hell are you doing?
这样可一点都不好 That was so not cool.
艾什莉 Ash!
哥们 她到底在哪儿？ Dude, where the hell is she?
- 跟你说过 她现在不想见你 - 艾什莉 - I told you, she doesn't want to see you now.- Ashley!
别这样 你没必要不好意思 Come on, you don't have to be embarrassed.
宝贝 Babe!
你没有卫生巾之类的吗？ Don't you, like, have some tampons, or something?
哥们 发生什么事了 Dude, what happened...
呼呼 Whoo-hoo!
搞什么？ What the fuck?
嘿 Hey!
你在干什么？ What the fuck are you doing?
你把她怎么了？ What have you done with her?
嘿 她在哪儿？ Hey, where is she?
你死定了 小混蛋 You're fuckin' dead, you little piece of shit!
嘿嘿嘿 把棍子扔掉 Hey, hey, hey! Ah, drop it.
扔...扔掉 Drop... drop it.
我不是开玩笑 我会把你的脸轰掉 三 二... I'm serious. I'll blow your fuckin' face off in three, two...
好 好 好 All right, all right, all right.
喔 喔 喔 Whoa, man! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- 别开枪 好吗？ - 行 跪下 - Okay, don't shoot me, okay? - Okay, get on your knees.
- 快 - 好 好 - Please.- Okay, okay.
- 快跪下 - 好 好 -Please, get on your knees.- All right, all right!
好的 谢谢 Okay, thank you.
- 他已经排好队了 - 不不不 - He lines up the shot.- No, no, no!
卢克 Luke!
你搞什么？妈的 现在怎么办？ What the fuck? Holy shit! What do we do now?
太刺激了不是么？ Isn't this exciting?
不不 哥们 这样咱们会进监狱的 No! No, dude, we're going to jail.
你还不明白吗？咱们要坐牢的 Don't you get it? We're going to fucking jail!
卢克 我们会死在监狱里的 Luke, we're gonna fuckin' die in prison.
不 我们不会 No, we're not.
操 Fuck!
为何不直接用药迷晕他们？ Why can't we just roofie them both?
我是这么打算的 That was all I had.
但事情有变 And even if it wasn't,
这个修车的脸上现在有个洞 jiffy lube here has a fucking hole in his face.
你彻底破坏了我们的计划 里奇 You really messed things up, Ricky.
对我和加瑞特来说 事情变得复杂多了 Things just got a whole lot more complicated for me and Garrett.
啊 Ah.
- 放了里奇 - 你我都知道这不可能 - Just let Ricky go.- We both know I can't do that.
可以说他是摔倒碰到了外露的钉子之类受伤的 Look, we can say that he fell on an exposed nail or something.
加瑞特作监督 跟他去找他室友聊这事儿 Garrett can go with him to verify the conversation with his roommate.
你我留在这里清理干净 You and I, we stay here, we clean up.
在你父母回家前 你到床上睡觉去 然后... You go to bed before your parents get home and then...
然后你就报警 我穿着睡衣裤就被抓走了 You call the cops and they arrest me in my jammies.
这主意可不好 艾什莉 I don't think so, ash.
如果她是认真的呢？ What if she's serious?
哥们 她能帮我们脱身 Dude, she can help us get out of this.
你太不了解女人了 You got a lot to learn about women.
你为什么不听我的话？我说过等我发信息给你 Why didn't you listen? I said I'd text you.
你确实发过信息给我 You did text me.
什么？ What?
查查我手机 Check my phone.
是你发信息给他的 You texted him.
你在说什么？ What are you talking about?
你想把我们都害死 You don't want us to get out of this.
- 是你把他叫过来的 - 巴拉巴拉巴拉 You invited him here! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
卢克 我日... Luke, what the...
你发信息让里奇来这儿的对吗？ You texted Ricky to come here, didn't you?
没有 哥们 我为什么要那么做？ No, man. Why would I do that?
好吧 是我发的 我也准备告诉你的 Okay, I did. I was gonna tell you,
但这只油猢狲（机械修理工）早到了15分钟 but grease monkey got here 15 minutes early.
让我措手不及 Caught me off guard.
别紧张 我都计划好了 Lighten up. I got it all planned out.
是啊 你还计划了什么？ Yeah, what else you got planned?
- 你还有什么瞒着我的？- 加瑞特 - What else are you gonna lie to me about?- Garrett...
去走一走 冷静一下 Go take a walk and chill the fuck out.
加瑞特？加瑞特 不要 请不要离开 Garrett? Garrett, no, please don't go.
- 求你了 - 需要的话 再喝一剂奥施康定 Please. Just take another oxy if you have to.
加瑞特 Garrett!
噢 看 Oh, look.
你手机还能用 Your phone still works.
是时候请咱们的第二位客人来了 It's about time we invite our second guest.
你的那个傻逼前男友 The douchebag ex.
杰里米？ Jeremy?
请他到这儿来 Invite him here.
我不是在请求你 I'm not asking.
你不会开枪的 卢克 You're not going to shoot me, Luke.
我会的 艾什莉 如果你不请他来这里 I will shoot you, Ashley, if you don't invite him here
马上 right now.
不好意思 小鬼 Sorry, kiddo.
我不会再让任何人陷入你的圈套里 I'm not involving anyone else in your bullshit.
那好 Fine.
天啊 请不要接电话 God, please don't pick up.
请不要接 请不要接 Please don't pick up. Please don't pick up.
别 别再用这胶带 No, not again with the duct tape.
胶带有上千种用途 1,001 uses for duct tape.
- 喂？- 嘿 杰里米 - Hello? - Hey, Jeremy.
你是哪位？ Uh, who's this?
我是为了艾什莉打电话的 I'm actually calling for Ashley.
这里没有叫艾什莉的 哥们 你打错了 There's no Ashley here, dude. Wrong number.
噢 天啊 真是个傻子！ Oh, my god, what a moron!
难以置信你会和他约会 I can't believe you dated this guy.
喂？ Hello?
嘿 杰里米 别挂电话 Hey, Jeremy, don't hang up.
我现在和艾什莉在一起 I'm here with Ashley.
她想和你聊聊 但不是电话上聊 She wants to talk to you, but not on the phone.
你是谁？ Who is this?
她现在很奇怪 She's being all weird.
我想她是想让你过来找她 I think she wants you to come over.
她正在我家做保姆... She's babysitting me and...
你就是克莱蒙特那个小逼崽子么？ Is this that little taint on claremont?
- 是的 - 让她留在那儿 - Yes. - Tell her to stay there.
- 我马上过来 - 好 从后院过来 -I'm coming over right now.- Okay, come around the back.
怎么了？ What's going on?
没什么 Nothing.
卢克 卢克 听我说 Luke. Luke, listen to me, okay?
你不知道你在干什么 You don't know what you're doing.
你还不停手的话 就会有人受伤 If you don't stop, someone's going to get hurt.
你忘了你杀了加瑞特的仓鼠这事吗？ Don't you remember when you killed Garrett's hamster?
你是哭着告诉我的 You cried when you told me about it.
你很难受 You were sad.
我是故意杀死的 It wasn't an accident.
说的跟真的似的 As if.
说出来 你这只笨蛋油猢狲 Say it, you grease monkey loser.
你真以为艾什莉一年后还会记得你吗？ You actually think Ashley's gonna remember you in a year?
不管你刚说的什么 Whatever you just said,
再说一遍 我他妈让你说 say it again, i fucking dare you.
我说...我需要上厕所 I said... I need the bathroom.
恶心 快停下 Gross! Stop it!
没用的废物 Fucking mongo!
我会救咱们出去 God, I'm getting us out of here.
艾什莉 你解开胶带后 马上逃走 Ash, as soon as you're free, you run.
我说真的 别回来 我自己能搞定 I'm serious, don't turn back. I can handle myself.
听着 接着割 Listen. Keep cutting.
我知道你一直在躲着我 Look, I know you've been avoiding me
因为你已经规划好了自己的未来 'cause you've got this whole future planned out.
大学规划 职业规划 You know, you got college, you got a career.
那小鬼说得对 我没有这些 The kid's right. I don't have those things.
我只是想让你知道 我为你感到高兴 I just want you to know I'm happy for you.
你会活得很精彩的 You're gonna be awesome.
他来了 快点 He's coming. Hurry!
哥们 你尿真臭 Dude, your piss reeks.
里奇臭 Reeky.
你都吃了些什么？ What the fuck you been eating?
杰里米还得半小时才能到对吗？ Jeremy lives, like, 30 minutes away, right?
咱们得消磨一下时间 Ugh! We've got time to kill.
操 Fuck!
是的 操 Yeah, fuck!
我想让你们两个交配 I want to watch the two of you fuck.
听着 你这小混蛋... Listen, you little shit...
不 你听我说 No, you listen to me.
我有枪 I got the gun.
让他当老大去吧 Just let him play big boy.
他喜欢那样 He likes that.
艾什莉说她是处女 Ashley says she's a virgin,
但我赌你一天上她两次对吗 里奇臭？ but I bet you hit that shit twice a day, right, reeky?
没有吗？ You haven't?
那你们二位今晚就圆房 Well, tonight's your night, guys.
我是开玩笑的 I'm just kidding.
天啊 放松点 God, relax.
我不是性变态 I'm not a pervert.
这不是尿味 It's not piss.
加瑞特 你他妈搞什么 Garrett, what the fuck!
怎么了 哥们？是你告诉我要冷静一下 What, man? You told me to calm down.
这屋子里不能吸大麻 Nobody's smoking weed in the house!
等下一次有这种机会就难啦 Well, like, next time be more specific.
你个傻子 You moron!
我妈会杀了我的 My mom's gonna kill me!
别管闲事 Stop bossing me around.
- 快把它给我 - 不行 - Give it to me. - No.
- 给我 - 不 嘿 - Give it. - No. Hey!
快给我 Give it to me!
- 加快速度 - 我知道 - Hurry up! - I am.
妈的 Shit!
- 吸 - 不行 哥们 - Puff.- No, man.
- 我不想沾上这东西 - 卢克... - I don't fuck with that shit.- Luke, just...
加瑞特 你们两个听着 Garrett, both of you guys, okay,
咱们能放松下来谈谈吗？ can we just talk and relax?
我想能找到一个让大家都满意的解决办法 I feel like there's a solution that can make everybody happy.
你说得对 You're right.
我们都需要放松一下 We all just need to relax.
里奇 你先来 Ricky, you first.
我说过不吸 I said no.
吸大麻还是吃子弹 你自己选一个？ Do you want a hit from the joint or a hit from the gun?
- 卢克 停下 - 我在给他选择权 - Luke, stop it!- I'm giving him a choice.
- 喔 - 太神奇了 - Whoa!- That's awesome!
嘿 停下 Hey, stop it!
你在干什么？停下 What are you doing? Stop!
房里都是大麻味 所以要把这东西弄进他体内 The house smells like marijuana so I need to get it in his system.
- "弄进他体内"是什么意思？- 加瑞特 过来 What do you mean, "in his system"? Garrett, come here.
- 帮我推 - 你们要把他带哪儿去？ - Help me pull.- Where are you taking him?
留在这儿吸大麻 Stay there, smoke up.
孩子 你为什么要和这人玩？ Dude, why do you hang out with this guy?
因为他是我最好的朋友 Because he's my best friend.
你确定吗？ You sure about that?
是的 Yeah.
你要画画还是怎么的？ You painting something?
这次我要彻底地证明一下谁是对的 We're gonna see who's right once and for all,
流言终结者来了 mythbusters style.
嘿 加瑞特 在参加童子军的时候 丁香结 Hey, Garrett, in scouts, were clove hitches
是顺时针还是逆时针？ clockwise or counter-clockwise?
丁香什么？ Clove who?
算了 我知道了 Never mind. Got it.
知道什么？ Got what?
孩子 到底要怎样？ Dude, what the fuck is going on?
哥们 我也不知道 Dude... I have no idea.
喔 你干什么 小鬼？ Whoa! What the fuck, man?
噢 你这是想弄死他吗？ Oh, you're fucking home aloneing him?
哥们 你在干什么？ Dude, what are you doing, man?
求求你 放了我 Please, let me out of this.
- 桶和他的头水平吗？- 你他妈在干什么 哥们？ - Is it level with his head? - What the fuck are you doing, dude?
你这样会杀死他的 快停下 You're gonna kill him! Just stop it.
加瑞特 加瑞特对吗？ Garrett. Garrett, right?
- 是的 - 快解开我 - Yeah.- Please untie me.
你说过油漆罐 Okay. You said that the paint can
只会把打翻身而已 就像电影里那样 would knock him back, like in the movie.
好 听着 我收回我的话 我为我说过的抱歉 Okay, look, I take it back. Everything I said, I'm sorry.
你赢了 快停下 求你了 You win. Just stop it, please.
咱们再试一次嘛 Let's just try it one more time.
艾什莉 Ashley!
噢 妈的 Oh, shit!
- 把他眼睛蒙上 - 不 不行 哥们 - Blindfold him.- No, no way, man.
哥们 停下 哥们 这太神经病了 Dude, stop, man, stop! This is fucked!
加瑞特 我警告你 Garrett, I'm warning you.
快蒙上他眼睛 Blindfold him.
听着 哥们 不管我做了什么 我现在道歉 Listen, man, whatever it is, I'm sorry.
行吗？卢克 抱歉 抱歉我打了你 哥们 All right? Luke, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hitting you, man.
蒙好 蒙紧 Make sure it's good and tight.
你们没必要这么做 You don't have to do this, guys!
你们都疯了 You are fucking insane!
- 艾什莉 - 噢 妈的 - Ashley!- Oh, fuck it!
艾什莉 Ashley!
把桶放下 不然我开枪了 Put it down, or I will shoot you!
谢天谢地 艾什莉 谢天谢地 Thank god, Ashley, thank god.
我说把桶地上 I said, put it down!
好的 Okay.
噢 天啊 Oh, my god!
天啊 他的头 Holy shit, his head!
他的头就那么炸了 His head, it just exploded!
我告诉过你的 加瑞特 我告诉过你的 I told you, Garrett. I told you!
你在笑什么？ Why are you laughing?
我问你在笑什么？ I said, why are you laughing?
因为你杀不了我 艾什莉 Because you can't shoot me, ash.
别再靠近 我说到做到 Don't come any closer, i mean it.
负责任的父母不会把弹药和枪放一起的 A responsible parent always keeps the ammo separate.
加瑞特 抓住她 Garrett, get her!
她跑了 咱俩就死定了 If she gets away, we're both dead!
操 操 操...... Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck!
嘿 嘿 Hey, hey!
- 拜托 拜托 - 不 不 Please, please! No! No!
嘿 嘿 回来 回来 Hey. Hey, just come back. Just come back.
噢 嘿 操 Oh, hey! Fuck!
放开我 你这疯子 Get off of me, you crazy fuck!
- 嘿 - 放开我 - Hey!- Get away from me!
拜托 拜托 Please. Please!
- 不 - 别挣扎 事情会更容易些 - No!- It would make everything easier, please!
放开 Let go!
噢 我操 Ow! What the fuck?
不 不 不 不 不 艾什莉 艾什莉 艾什莉 No, no, no, no, no, Ashley! Ashley! Ashley!
不 不 不 不 不 不 不 不 No, no, no, no no, no, no, no!
救命 Help!
噢 谢谢你们 太棒了 Oh, thank you, that was wonderful!
谢谢你们 喝杯热可可暖暖身子吧 Thank you! Hope the cocoa keeps your guys warm!
晚安 圣诞快乐 Have a good night. Merry Christmas.
这个合唱团今年又加入了新成员 There's a couple of new folks in the group this year.
和声部分唱的好多了 Really improved their harmonizing.
噢 看谁醒来了 Oh, look who's awake.
不走运啊 艾什莉 Tough break, ash.
欢唱团走了 邻居林加德家呢？ The carolers are gone, and the lingards next door?
哦 他们去佛罗里达了 Well, they're in Florida.
我替你摆脱了里奇 I got rid of Ricky for you.
现在是不好受 但过后你会谢我的 It hurts now, but you'll thank me later.
你喜欢这样吗？ You like that?
你为什么要杀了他？ Why did you kill him?
纠正一下 是你让他在房里吸大麻才导致死亡的 Correction. You killed him by smoking pot in the house.
大麻是证据 你想去坐牢吗？ That weed is evidence. You wanna go to jail?
只是些大麻 哥们 It was a fucking joint, dude.
你没必要为此而杀人 You didn't have to kill someone.
加瑞特 我们不会有事的 Garrett, we are going to get out of this.
还记得你逃了第四节课被抓住吗？ Remember when you ditched fourth period and got caught?
是谁说服他们 你当时在阻止有人破坏更衣室才旷课的？ Who convinced them that you stopped some vandals in the locker room?
是我 Me.
咱们偷我妈的钱被发现 When my mom caught us stealing from her purse,
是谁假装梦游让你得以脱身？ who faked sleepwalking so you could slip out?
- 说啊 - 这事要大多了 - Say it.- This is so much bigger.
哥们 在逃脱处罚这方面我可是大师级别 Dude, I am the Harry Houdini of getting away with it.
我知道怎样了结今晚的事 咱们会全身而退 I know how tonight plays out, and we get out clean.
你只需要按我说的做就行了 You just gotta do what I say.
明白吗？ Okay?
我问你明白吗？ I said, okay?
明白 好 Yeah. Good.
现在看着 Now, watch this.
艾什莉将会发布一条信息 Ashley is going to make a post.
简单点 比如... Something simple, like...
"为什么前男友们总是纠缠不散？" "Why can't exes just go away?
"杰里米快把我逼疯了！" "Jeremy is, like, freaking me out!"
现在你的任务就是 我出去搞定杰里米时 Now, all you gotta do is make sure she stays quiet
让她保持安静 while I deal with Jeremy.
搞定他？ Deal with him?
你意思是杀了他？ You mean kill him?
当然不是 天啊 加瑞特 ... Of course not! God, Garrett. Just...
我们把他忽悠走就行 We'll just plant a little seed.
然后再把你身上的油漆清理掉 And after that, we'll get the paint off you
你看着像个热狗 'cause you look like a fucking hot dog.
我不想听 I don't want to know.
加瑞特 求求你 Garrett, please.
不管你要说什么 请停下 Whatever it is, just please stop.
嘿 Hey.
嘿 艾什莉 嘿 Hey, ash. Hey.
嘿 见到你真好 Hey, it's good to see you.
是的 是的 当然 当然 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah!
我们都很好 是的 We all good, yeah.
我们都还好 Yeah, we cool.
我们都还好 We're cool.
呀 我们没事了 Yeah, we cool!
呀 呀 Fuck yeah! Yeah!
呀 Yeah!
艾什莉 艾什莉 Ash! Ashley!
操 那是什么？ Fuck! What the fuck is that?
艾什莉 Ashley!
艾什莉？ Ashley?
艾什莉 Ashley!
嘘 别说话 Shh! Please.
艾什莉？ Ashley?
安静 安静 拜托 Please be quiet, please be quiet. Please.
- 请安静点 - 艾什莉 别这样 - Please be quiet. - Ashley, come on.
艾什莉 Ashley.
艾什莉 嗨 Ashley. Hi.
妈的 哥们 Holy shit, man.
你吓死我了 You scared the fuck out of me.
她人呢？ Where is she?
- 在里面 - 好的 - Inside.- Okay, cool.
等等 Wait.
什么？ What?
别急 过来 Just slow down. Come here.
坐下 Have a seat.
不行 艾什莉在哪儿 哥们？ No. Where's Ashley, dude?
她马上就过来 别急 She's coming. Chill out.
她让我先来和你聊聊 She's just asked me to come talk to you first.
我只希望今晚早点结束 I just want tonight to be over.
这是什么？你说过她想见我的 What the hell's that? You said she wanted to see me.
她想要你的道歉 She wants you to apologize.
- 道什么歉？- 嘘！别吵醒邻居 - For what? - Shh! Don't wake the neighbors.
我他妈才不管 I could give a fuck!
去他妈的邻居 A fuck about the fucking neighbors.
她说你会明白的 She said that you'd know.
好 她人呢？我会道歉 Fine. Where is she? I'll apologize.
她要你写下来 She wants you to write it down.
这太蠢了 This is so fuckin' stupid.
"亲爱的艾什莉 "Dear, Ashley.
"对不起" "I'm sorry."
- 就这样？- 什么？ - That's it? - What?
你想让我说什么？ What do you want me to say?
我只是问你 就这么多吗？ I'm just asking, is that it?
那我就进去跟她说你写完了？ Should I go tell her you're done?
拿来 妈的 Here, fuck.
该屎的 Shit.
"艾什莉 "Ashley.
"真对不起" "I am so sorry."
我不知道自己为什么这么做 I don't know why I'm doing this.
因为你是个好人 明白吗？ Because you're a good person, okay?
你之前没有意识到这一点 And you didn't know any better
你也不知道他要干什么 and you didn't know what he was capable of.
请把我解开 懂吗？ Just untie me, okay?
我们穿过街道去报警 We'll run across the street and we'll call the cops.
被卢克发现你跑了 他会抓狂的 But Luke will freak out if he finds that you're gone.
他不会伤害你懂吗？ He won't hurt you. Okay?
我不会让他伤害你的 I won't let him.
- 他是我最好的朋友 - 不 他不是 - He's my best friend.- No, he's not.
卢克根本不在乎你 加瑞特 Luke doesn't give a shit about you, Garrett.
他只是利用你 操纵你 He uses you, he manipulates you.
朋友是不会带你干这种事的 No friend would put you through tonight.
好了 她想要莎士比亚风格吗？ There, she wants Shakespeare?
小鬼？ Kid?
我写完了 I'm done!
嘿 小鬼 你上哪儿去了... Hey, kid, where'd you...
该死的猫 Fucking cat!
嘿 小鬼 你在哪儿... Hey, kid, where'd you...
- 啊 噢 - 抱歉 抱歉 - Ah! Ow!- Sorry. I'm sorry.
我会补救这件事的 好吗？ I'm gonna... I'm gonna fix this, okay?
我并没想过事情会这样发展 It wasn't supposed to be like this.
真的很抱歉 艾什莉 I'm really sorry, Ashley.
我只是希望自己有种站起来... I just wish I'd had the balls to step up...
我告诉过你别碰她 你个混蛋 I told you not to touch her, you asshole!
你开枪... You shot...
你居然朝我开枪 You shot me.
是你逼我这么做的 Look what you made me do!
我...我要死了 I'm... I'm dying.
你为什么要逼我这么做？ Why did you make me do it?
救命 救命 Help! Help!
闭嘴 Shut up!
我要见我妈 I want my mom.
操！去你妈的 Fuck! Fuck you!
去你妈的 Fuck you!
去你妈的 操 Fuck you! Fuck!
妈的 Shit!
该死的 Fuckin' hell.
反正他已经开始让我厌烦了 He was starting to annoy me anyway.
你是一定不会放我走对吗？ You were never going to let me go, were you?
有罪 Guilty.
记得我妈以前替我盖好被子 I remember, my mom used to tuck me in.
我会紧紧抓住她不放 I'd hold onto her and never let go.
她让我感觉很安全 She felt so safe.
这样我才能安然入睡 I'd just fall asleep.
后来她不再这么做了 Then she stopped.
我不知道为什么 I don't know why.
所以我再也睡不好觉了 And now, I don't sleep well anymore.
我很清楚为什么她不再那么做 I know exactly why she stopped.
为什么？ Why?
睁开眼睛 Open your eyes.
艾什莉 睁开眼睛 Ashley, open your eyes.
回答我的问题 Just answer the question!
看着我 Look at me!
告诉我 我是个神经病 Tell me I'm fucked up.
告诉我 你对我很失望 Tell me you're disappointed!
说你很害怕或者你想回家 总之说句话啊 Say you're scared or you wanna go home. Say something!
艾什莉 Ashley.
求你说句话 Please, say something.
晚安 Goodnight.
糟糕 他脸颊上的洞 Shit, the hole in his cheek.
噢 操 Oh, fuck!
操 Fuck!
我日... What the...
妈的 Shit.
该死的鹿 Fuckin' deers!
一点不好笑 香塔尔和戴夫 It wasn't even funny, and Chantal and Dave
一直没完没了地谈论领带有多糟糕 could not stop talking about how awful it was.
我太尴尬了 I was so embarrassed.
噢 女人 他们只是两个傻逼 Oh, dude, they're just being cunts.
- 他们是什么？- 没什么 - They're what? - Nothing.
我们是在聊... Are we talking about some sort...
我们现在不谈性爱好吗？ We're not talking about sex, are we?
我喝的有点高 'Cause after this meal, i feel bloated.
噢 天啊 卢卡斯在哪儿？ Oh, my god, where's Lucas?
噢 天啊 Oh, my god!
卢卡斯 Lucas!
卢卡斯 卢卡斯 Lucas! Lucas!
- 发生什么事了？- 嘘 我会保护你 - What's going on? - Shh, I got you.
我会保护你 I got you.
这是个无法形容的悲剧 It's an unspeakable tragedy.
他们的父母知道了吗？通知他们了吗？ Do any of the parents know? Have they been made aware?
- 加瑞特的父母呢？- 还没有 先生 - Garrett's parents? - Not as yet, sir.
上星期我还和加瑞特的父亲聊过天 I was speaking to Garrett's father just last week.
你们能给找个心理医生吗？ Is there going to be a grief councilor?
我们会给你安排一个的 先生 We'll arrange one for you, sir.
这个还活着 This one's still alive!
好的 等等 亲爱的 待这儿别动 懂吗？ Okay, wait. Okay, honey, just stay here, okay?
待在这里 Just stay here.
还有脉搏 Vitals are holding.
- 是什么情况？- 脖子被刺伤 - What have we got? - Stab wound to the neck.
她把胶带放上面止血 She put duct tape on to stem the bleeding.
聪明的女孩 止住了血 Smart girl. Saved her blood.
咱们走 Let's go.
妈妈 我担心艾什莉 Mom, I'm worried about Ashley.
我们得到医院去看看 I think we should go to the hospital.